Walk The Line
by Aphina
Summary: From ME1 onwards. Sara Shepard has always walked the line but with the Reapers closing in, who is there to keep her on the straight and narrow when the chips are down?
1. Chapter 1: New Beginnings

**AN: You may have seen a story with the same name popping up on your feed last week. I decided to start over and write from the very beginning. I felt I couldn't really find a tone for Kaidan and Shepard otherwise. So I hope you guys kick back and enjoy the story!**

Chapter One

_People, keep on learnin'  
Soldiers, keep on warrin'  
World,keep on turnin'  
Cause it won't be too long.  
Powers, keep on lyin',  
While your people  
Keep on dyin'  
World, keep on turnin',  
Cause it won't be too long._

_Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Higher Ground_

The Normandy was a stunning ship, it's glossy black and white surface gleamed in the Vancouver sun making it look eerily new. Commander Sara Shepard reviewed it with eager eyes through the large window pane of the Alliance base. It certainly was a beauty, she had thumbed though the schematics when Captain Anderson had requested her presence aboard the vessel. The ship was a prototype melded together from an Alliance cruiser and something the Turians had had stashed away in their armada.

The Citadel Council had had sponsored it's commission years ago and to see the finished results docked right in front of her was astounding. The Normandy was more than just a space craft, it was an olive branch between the two cultures and Shepard hoped that this marked the start of a smoother relationship between the two species.

Over the past six months it had been captained by David Anderson, a war hero whom had been the first Marine to graduate through the N7 program. Over the years Shepard had heard a lot about Anderson and she had come to view him with a slight reverence. The man was everything she strove to be as an Alliance officer, the perfect role model as it were. Which was why she had been surprised when she'd received his request for her transfer as his XO to The Normandy. She hadn't realized that her own reputation would spread that far through the Alliance, she certainly hadn't expected to show up on Anderson's radar.

Heavy footsteps behind her alerted her to the presence of someone else heading towards the docking lounge and she turned in time to see Captain David Anderson taking long purposeful strides towards her. Shepard straightened up immediately, placing both of her feet together, her shoulder's turning rigid and taunt as she saluted her superior officer.

"Sir." she greeted as Captain Anderson returned the salute meeting her cornflower blue eyes with his own dark gaze.

"At ease soldier." Anderson uttered in his gravelly voice, taking in the young Alliance officer in front of him.

His new executive officer looked different from the picture they had on file and Anderson had to admit the new look suited the slender woman. Her cherry red hair had been chopped into layers that ended at her jawline, framing her pale features. The tight bun that she had been sporting before that hadn't done her striking appearance any justice. The style made her look everyone of her twenty nine years. Her navy blue uniform was crisp and freshly laundered, the gold lining glittered in the florescent lighting that hung above them. The patches on her athletic shoulders revealed her rank

Shepard linked her fingers behind her back, following Anderson's movement so that the two of them were back at the window staring through it at The Normandy.

"What do you think Shepard?" Anderson asked in his low tone.

"I'm intrigued to see what the experimental drive core can do." she informed her superior officer trying to keep the edge of excitement out of her voice. "And to try out the stealth capabilities."

"Captain Rowlands said you had a thing for ships." Anderson supplemented into the conversation, his arms crossed over his chest.

Shepard bowed her head for a second. Her hair falling over her features shielding her expression from Anderson's view. The truth was after what happened to her family on Mindoir, she didn't like to stay too long in one place. She had served on numerous frigates over the years as well as planet bound bases, being stuck too long with her boots on the ground made her feel uneasy.

"I do when they look like this." she answered instead.

"I've gotta feeling your gonna be putting The Normandy through her paces." Anderson responded with an amused lilt before he turned his whole attention onto Shepard. "You ready to meet the crew?"

* * *

The Vancouver sun was both a blessing and a curse as the crew of the Normandy stood outside their vessel in the height of the afternoon. For Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko the heat felt wonderful on his tanned skin as he stood to attention awaiting the arrival of Captain Anderson and their new XO. Kaiden loved this place. The city was always bustling with life no matter what time of day it was and the views from his parent's apartment were always spectacular. He had spent God knows how many hours of his shore leave sitting out on the balcony and watching the world pass by with a cold beer in his hand. As a native to Vancouver he was used to the consistent warmth that had swept over the city during the summer months.

Joker however was not. Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau was standing beside him propped up on his crutches, which in turn helped him to support his upper body with the help of his leg braces. His friend was a stubborn wiseass at the best of times and Kaidan enjoyed the blunt, unbridled humour that sprung from Joker's lips. The two of them would sit on the bridge bantering like they had known each other for years despite the fact that they had only been thrown together by circumstance six months ago when they had each begun life on The Normandy. Kaidan chanced a glance at his friend, pursing his lips together as Joker shot him a dirty look, as if blaming him for the twinge of red sunburn that was beginning to manifest upon his sharp features despite the fact he was wearing his trademark cap.

"Jesus, how do you live here?" Joker complained, shifting irritably from side to side causing his crutches to creak at the sound.

"Quite pleasantly." Kaidan responded, keeping his chin tipped high like the rest of the crew. "Besides a little sunlight will be good for you."

They had been awaiting the arrival of Captain Anderson and their new XO for the past fifteen minutes and still there was no sign of either party. Kaidan was used to this behaviour and took it in his stride, Joker however was growing more irate with every passing second. His bearded jaw was clenched and his teeth gritted, markers that Kaidan associated with pain. He was sure he wore the same expression during one of his horrendous migraines. He also knew that Joker hated attention being drawn to his illness. He refused to think of the word disability, it was not a word he associated with the talented pilot that was Flight Lieutenant Moreau.

"Are you offering to rub the lotion into my more sensitive places?" Joker snorted bringing Kaidan back to the present. "Because sweetheart you ain't my type."

"You don't have a type." Kaidan pointed out. "Unless it's electronic."

"Digital love is the best way to go. None of that whining about how your never there, you get to tune in whenever you want..." Joker said with conviction, poking Kaidan in the foot with one of his crutches. "Don't pretend you don't have something dirty stashed away somewhere for those long, lonely nights."

"When would I get the time?" Kaidan reminded the other man. "When I'm not with you I'm working on Alliance reports. I barely get time to sleep let alone the other thing"

"All work and no play really does make Alenko a dull boy." Joker said, his lips twitching with amusement.

Kaidan rolled his eyes in response to the comment as the metal doors to the docking bay hissed open. Already his training was taking over, his muscles were pulling his back straight until he came to stand at his full height. His large hands came to rest at his sides as he stood patiently waiting his turn to be greeted by his new XO. He ignored Joker's snickering at the sudden change in body language and focused instead on keeping his gaze front and centre.

"This is Staff Lieutenant Alenko, he is also head of The Normandy's marine detail." Captain Anderson introduced Kaidan as he preformed a seamless salute. "Alenko this is Commander Shepard."

Kaidan didn't think he could hide the surprise on his handsome features when he came face to face with the new XO. Over the years he had heard stories of Sara Shepard and he had never been able to determine fact from fiction. Pushing all that aside Kaidan couldn't imagine how someone so fresh faced could have survived that traumatic Thresher Maw attack on Akuze. He thought that she looked more suited to a career in communications or engineering as opposed to the hardened soldier that apparently lurked underneath the surface.

Shepard's cherry red hair was swept across her pale forehead threatening to fall into her eyes at any given moment and Kaidan felt an almost uncontrollable impulse to reach out and brush it back behind her ear. Her cornflower blue eyes regarded him with interest and within seconds of meeting her gaze he realized how wrong his first assumption of her had been. There was a darkness in those eyes, it was vivid and haunting sending a jolt spearing right through the very core of his soul. He wondered if anyone else could see it or whether his own experiences had granted him the power to recognise when someone else was in a similar position. His own history with BAaT had shaped the person he was today but he had never let it control him. He sensed Shepard lived by the same mantra.

"Your the biotic." Shepard stated with a small smile playing over her pert pink lips as she stuck out her hand to shake Alenko's as she had with the previous members of the crew.

Alenko was interesting. She had read his file, the same way as she had read everybody else's before coming here today and she was intrigued his potential. Although she had met several Asari over the years, she had yet to see a human biotic in action. They were rare, the same way Element Zero was these days. There was a whole host of special commendations in his file which showed that he went above and beyond the call of duty.

The holo on his file didn't do him justice. In the flesh Kaidan Alenko was taller than she imagined, his shoulders and chest were broad and he fit into the Alliance fatigues rather nicely. He had a gorgeous olive complexion and inquisitive chocolate coloured eyes that bored directly into her own.

"Yes Ma'am, that would be me." Kaidan answered politely, reaching out to take his XO's hand.

His skin was warm to the touch, his handshake reassuring and confident. She could feel the callouses on his fingertips as they grazed her palm and she suppressed a shiver at the thought of what they would feel like smoothing over her curves.

_It's been far too long_, she chided herself as the two of them withdrew from one another.

In reality it had been over three years since Sara Shepard had engaged in any sort of sexual activity and her last encounter had been less than satisfying. After Akuze she had felt numb and broken. The Alliance had put her on leave pending psychological evaluation after the massacre of her entire unit. Her ex Kyle had been back in town and she had needed to feel something so badly. Her grief wasn't an excuse for her actions, she wasn't the type of person to jump right into bed with someone.

Usually she had an iron clad grasp on her control. She'd felt worse after that night, dirty, used and hungover. There was shame when she looked in the mirror, she hadn't recognised the woman starring back at her. It had taken her a while to get back on her feet but she had reasoned that the sort of behaviour that she indulging was beginning to spiral out of control. She was betraying their memory by acting the way she was and that knowledge made her sick to her stomach. She owed it to them to be the best that she could be. She vowed their sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

"Commander Shepard, this is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau..." Captain Anderson supplied as they moved further down the line.

Joker was already leaning forward on his crutches, his large hand enclosing around hers as he shook it with enthusiasm. Alike Kaidan he had heard the stories surrounding his XO's reputation and he was curious to see if they were true. If they were then he bet they were in for one hell of a ride.

"Joker." he corrected Anderson with his wry grin. "I heard you killed a Thresher Maw with your bare hands."

"It was with a grenade launcher." Shepard informed the Flight Lieutenant, her expression remaining completely blank as she spoke.

Joker winced inwardly as he released the Commander's dainty hand and watched her move onto to the next member of the crew.


	2. Chapter 2: Prime Evil

**AN: There may be a swear word or two in this chapter so I apologise to anyone of a delicate disposition.**

Chapter Two

_The night of the living dead is on its way...  
with a credit report for duty call.  
It's a lifetime guarantee.  
Stuffed in a coffin 10% more free.  
Red light special at the mausoleum._

_Green Day – Macy's Day Parade_

Eden Prime had once been an idyllic and peaceful planet. Decades ago the Alliance with the aid of several large corporations had begun to develop the beginnings of a settlement on the Earth-like planet. The prosperous suitability of the area drew heavy immigration traffic from civilians and soldiers seeking better employment opportunities. Over the course of that time Eden Prime had grown into a large, agricultural colony with blossoming orchids and expansive green fields. At the last consensus the population had been totalled at 3.7 million colonists living all over the thriving paradise.

As soon as her boots touched the ground Sara Shepard knew that Eden Prime had gone to hell. There were thick grey plumes of smoke bellowing in the distance from somewhere buried deep within the valleys of the plush green hills. The stench of burning plastic hung heavy in the air, stinging Shepard's nostrils and leaving a bitter taste on her tongue as she gestured for the other two members of her ground team to head towards where the dig site resided.

Nihlus had gone ahead. The turian Spectre had used a different drop zone to Shepard's tiny unit, stating that he would be quicker advancing to the target alone. Shepard had crossed paths with Nihlus only twice during her time on The Normandy and both times he had been aloft and blunt. She wasn't sure what to make of the man who was judging her on her actions out here today. As far as she was concerned this would be like every other mission she had participated in. She would work it to the best of her ability.

Becoming the first human Spectre was a daunting possibility. It was just like that old Spiderman comic said "With great power comes great responsibility." Shepard would be a role model for anyone that followed in her footsteps and she wasn't sure she liked the idea of that. No matter what happened in the long run she would get through this mission knowing that she had tried her damnedest, the same way she always did.

Something was prickling at the edge of Shepard's senses as the gravel from the pathway crunched under foot. There was a faint crackle in the air, like the oxygen atoms were charged with static. It was a strange feeling and it made the hairs on the nape of her began to raise as apprehension chased her system. She held her fist up as a sign for Jenkins and Alenko to halt their movements.

Alenko responded immediately, stopping dead, his pistol poised for action. Flickers of blue were already beginning to thrum in the air surrounding him, giving his olive skin a lighter hue as it created an aura around his stationary form.

Jenkins didn't share the same wisdom of experience. The high pitched whine cut through the air, filtering straight through to Shepard's brain, causing her to grind her teeth at the frequency of the sound before several, shiny metal drones hurtled through the air towards them. Jenkins was still in motion. His footsteps putting him directly in their path before the three drones opened fire on their unsuspecting enemy.

In less than a second it was all over. The bullets cut through Jenkin's shields like butter, clanking loudly as they pierced his armour in multiple places. His agile body jerked and wretched, splattering the glossy surface of the protective coating with vivid red blood. He tumbled to the ground awkwardly, his head lolling as his limbs stretched out at gawky angles.

Shepard was already taking aim at the first of the hostiles with her assault rifle as the drones diverted their attention to the remaining two members of the team. Alenko was already in motion, the shimmer of raw blue power encased the second drone causing the circuits to wheeze and crackle as he reached out towards it with his outstretched palm.

A hale of bullets ricochetted off the sturdy rocks to Shepard's left sending shards of the solid grey mass bouncing off her N7 armour as the first drone lined up with her sight. She pulled the trigger, watching the projectiles perforate the drone's casing before it spiralled to the ground in a haze of putrid white fumes. Alenko was already dispatching the third with another burst of his biotics, the screech of splintering metal echoed through the area as the drone crumpled like paperball in his thrall.

By the time they made it to Jenkins he was panting, his long ragged breathes cut through the silence surrounding them as the electric blue glow from his biotics faded. The marine was dead, they had known it the second that the bullets had impacted but seeing his wide lifeless eyes staring back at them wrenched something hard deep inside the both of them. It wasn't easy to lose a soldier under your command. Shepard remembered Jenkins's enthusiasm when he'd approached her on The Normandy brimming with excitement at the potential of his first mission fresh off the new frigate. She watched as Alenko knelt down beside his fallen comrade, his fingertips coming to rest on the other man's eyelids before he closed them completely.

Shepard's gut twisted before she slammed down the defences on her emotions and switched to the more logical side of her being. The woman in her mourned the youth but the Commander, she was all about the mission. It was the only thing that mattered right now. They had to get to that beacon and then they would return for Jenkin's corpse.

Her hand came to rest on Alenko's broad shoulder. She squeezed it for the briefest of moments before he rose to his feet and turned to face her. She could see the sorrow in his handsome features and she understood it better than anybody else.

"I need you to focus Kaidan." Shepard said softly, maintaining eye contact with her remaining team member. "We'll make sure that Jenkins gets the service he deserves but right now we need to complete the mission."

For the first time since they had met Shepard saw that cool, blank mask slip into place over Alenko's usually expressive features. It was at that moment she saw the steely core of determination that resided deep within her comrade. His voice was devoid of all emotion as he spoke.

"Let's get the job done."

* * *

The mission had been a complete cluster fuck from the very beginning and as far as Kaidan Alenko was concerned he would be glad when the whole damn thing was over.

Jenkins's death was still tearing up his insides like a shred of barbed wire gnawing at his gut. He had never lost a soldier under his command before and the guilt was stabbing at him underneath the layers of his armour. The young marine had been his friend and now he was dead. It was something that Kaidan would have to learn to live with when all of this was over.

His immediate concern was the machine-like hostiles that appeared to have swarmed the entire dig site. Kaidan had never seen anything like them before and he was sure that Shepard hadn't either.

Over the course of his life he had heard stories about the Geth. They were fairytales to him, stories that his father told him before bed when he was on shore leave from the Alliance. From what he remembered they were a sentient, mechanical species. As far as he knew they had never crossed The Veil until now. He had never thought that he would ever see one in this life time and now he thought he had seen far too many.

Kaidan had managed to compartmentalize that mystery and honed in on the fact that the bizarre creatures were the enemy. With their team a man down, their mission was getting harder and harder to complete. Shepard was a crack shot with a sniper rifle from even the most obscene of distances but they were heavily out numbered in close combat. Kaidan hated to admit it but he was beginning to feel that tell-tale constant pressure behind his eyes, signalling that he was beginning to over exert himself.

Shepard and himself made a good team, her tech capabilities matched that of his own biotic abilities. They were both skilled with weapons although they had their own preferences and the way Shepard moved was like poetry in motion.

The two of them were completely in tune with one another. They worked as one, Kaidan pre-empted Shepard's commands before the woman had even opened her mouth to address them. He had never been in sync with anybody like this. The way they responded to one another was effortless and graceful, like a dance that only the two of them knew the steps to.

The two of them had battled wave upon wave of the living machines before they had come across Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams fending off a couple of Geth alone. They were not the only people to have suffered a loss that day. Williams's unit, the 212 were wiped out entirely by an army of Geth, whom had been intent on capturing the beacon. Williams had survived the attack through her wide skill set and sheer tenacity. The brunette seemed to have good head on her shoulders and Shepard was beyond happy when she had split some of her ammo with them. The three of them made a productive team and Williams was a useful source of information when it came to their surroundings.

The beacon wasn't had the dig site and that annoyed Kaidan more than he cared to admit. Shepard had rolled those pretty blue eyes up towards the sky simulating the same emotion as they stared at the place where the artefact had once stood. They both seemed to wordlessly agree that it had become one of 'those' missions.

With the help of two scientists who had been hiding at the time of the attack they had discovered that the beacon had been moved to the dirty white spaceport that loomed overhead. Once the mission turned from bad to worse. Nihlus, the turian Spectre who'd been with them on The Normandy had been shot in the head and was lying dead in a pool of his own navy blue blood. The methodology was purposeful and direct.

For Kaidan it had been another blow to his psyche. The death of the Spectre made no sense to him. The turian had been highly trained, the best of the best. How had the Geth managed to get the jump on him? He could see that question troubled Shepard as much as it did him from the deep frown that marred her pale features.

They got their answer from a dockworker by the name of Powell, who had witnessed the event from behind a stack of crates in which he had been napping behind when the Geth had attacked. The information they received changed everything and Kaidan didn't know it at the time but the events of Eden Prime would ricochet through the galaxy for years to come.

The revelation that Nihlus had been killed by another Spectre, one called Saren, had been mind blowing. If they had a rogue Spectre on their hands, their mission was about to get a hell of a lot more complicated. As Kaidan has predicted it had and by the skin of their teeth, they had managed to prevent Saren from blowing up the entire colony by defusing four cleverly placed charges that he had set up. Now finally Kaidan was standing before the object of their desire and he hoped that all the bloodshed had been worth.

The Prothean Beacon stood ten feet tall, it's shiny black exterior reminded him of onyx as it radiated a faint, eerie green glow. The colour was mesmerizing, it appeared to be variation of shades that he found he had trouble determining. Kaidan thought he could see glittering swirls in the light as it emitted from the ancient device and he bent his head to try and catch the light once more. His feet were moving on their own accord, there was a tug from the centre of his chest that yanked him forward as he wind milled his arms to stop his progression. The sentinel experienced a moment of sheer unadulterated panic when he realized he had no control over his own body. He was completely paralysed and at the full mercy of the beacon.

Slender arms wrapped tightly around his waist, gripping him in an iron clad grasp as that petite, athletic body pressed against his back. He inhaled Shepard's familiar vanilla scent as she used her momentum to swing him away from the beacon, yelping indignantly when he hit the ground with full force. Williams was already at his side, helping him to scramble to his feet to confront the sight in front of him.

Shepard's body had been hurled into the air and was suspended four feet above them. Her arms were outstretched and her legs dangled uselessly from the expansive height. Her head was tilted back, her dark red hair fluttering in the aura of green that surrounded her delicate frame. The beacon began to hum, it was a slow insistent sound at first but it began to get louder and louder until it vibrated across his flesh leaving goosebumps in it's wake.

Shepard began to scream. It was a haunting, primal sound that wretched from her throat as the agony tore through her body. Kaidan thought he would never ever forget that sound as long he lived. The noise triggered something deep down inside of him, it touched a savage and protective desire that he had never known he possessed. Automatically he launched himself towards his commanding officer, only to have Williams shove him back so forcefully he stumbled not to trip at the sudden change of direction. He snarled at the tall, brunette, his eyes bright with raw power as he grappled with his own control. The urge to throw Williams with his biotics in order to get to Shepard was overwhelming and he found his fists clenching at his sides until he was white knuckled.

"Don't touch her, it's too dangerous!" Williams yelled as the light surrounding the beacon began to pulsate and flicker.

"She's in pain..."

The rest of Kaidan's words were drowned out by the sudden influx of heat that furled through air as the beacon exploded. Shepard was flung ten feet away, her entire body rolling as she hit the ground before coming to rest on her right side. There was no movement from her after that, no indication that she was even breathing.

Kaidan raced forward, sinking to his knees beside Shepard. His large hand came to rest on her shoulder, lightly manoeuvring her until she was laying on her back. Her armour was scratched all over, the ruined groves showing the tattered remains of Shepard's black flak suit underneath. Her chest plate was a mess, it was dented out of shape from the force of the beacon as it threw her. His fingertips were already creeping across the soft skin of her throat, seeking out the consistent beating of her pulse.

Beside him Williams had her orange Omi Tool ready as she keyed in the codes for the Medical application of her computer. The sensors were kicking in, scanning the Commander's immobile form for life threatening injuries.

"She's alive." Kaidan said, letting out the breath he didn't realize that he had been holding.

The Lieutenant in him was already snapping to attention, his training was coming into full effect and he was already working on the next stage of their plan. With the Commander out of commission that left him in charge. They had the option of taking her to a civilian clinic or to the Medical Bay of The Normandy. A clinic was out of the question, they would rammed to capacity with the aftermath of the Geth attack. He trusted Doctor Chakwas more to get the job done anyway. The woman had been patching up soldiers for years, she had the experience, the means and the space to treat Shepard.

"We need to get her armour off her." Williams submitted interrupting Kaidan's thought pattern as she studied the information on her Omi-Tool. "It's compressing her chest and restricting her breathing."

"Alright." Kaidan agreed, reaching for the leather buckle at the top of Shepard's shoulder in order to remove the chest piece.

Between the two of them it took seven minutes to remove Shepard's armour from the waist up, leaving their XO clad in the black synthetic body suit underneath. There were no tears which was a relief for Kaidan, stripping Shepard of her armour was one thing, removing her modesty was another. He left Williams to sort through the ruined pieces of Shepard's armour while he radioed the situation up to The Normandy. They agreed on a meeting place before he returned his attention to the problem at hand.

"We're going to have to carry her." he stated, his hands coming to rest on his hips as he pondered the predicament. "The nearest area large enough for The Normandy to land is a mile West of here."

"How are your biotics?" Williams asked him as she withdrew her assault rifle from the holster and clicked the safety off.

"They're solid." Kaidan informed her, seeing a twinkle of a plan hatching in her eyes.

"If you can maintain a barrier I recommend you take the Commander and I can scout ahead for any lingering Geth in the area." Williams said, checking the ammo cache on her hip. "There's no point in us both having our hands full. I want to be able to return fire if we're getting shot at."

"Sounds like a plan, Chief." Kaidan conceded.

Williams took up position ahead of him, her eyes alert, scanning the horizon for any sign of Geth. The assault rifle looked at home in her small hands and that gave Kaidan a degree of comfort. He didn't know Williams enough to trust her completely with his own life or Shepard's but right now he had to work with what he had.

It took a few seconds for him to gather up Shepard's unconscious form into his arms. Without her armour she was feather light and it surprised him how innocent she looked curled up against his chest. Her head lolled onto his shoulder, her pale cheek resting upon his collarbone as her deep red hair fell across her pretty features. Holding her like this felt strangely intimate.

"You ready L.T?" Williams asked, glancing back over her shoulder and awaiting Kaidan's answer.

"Whenever you are Chief." he uttered before they began the urgent trek back to The Normandy.

* * *

**Now onto the review replies. I feel like it's good manners to respond to the people who interact with story so I always do this at the end of each chapter. Firstly thank you to everyone who has added and enjoyed this story so far. Writing Mass Effect is a completely new ground for me and I was a tad apprehensive but you've all been wonderful so thank you very much!**

_Guest: I am glad your enjoying this story. There's so much research you have to do for every chapter, it can be really complex to write. Thank you for reviewing!_

_Gracie: Ta Da! Your wish was granted. I hope your excitement was warranted. It's not an easy story to write but I enjoy the challenge. Again thank you very much for reviewing._


	3. Chapter 3: Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

Chapter Three

_Cause nobody wants to do it on their own  
And everyone wants to know they're not alone  
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere  
There's gotta be somebody for me out there_

_Nickelback – Gotta Be Somebody_

The mood on The Normandy was sombre. It had been ever since the ground team had returned without Jenkins or Nihlus in their midst. Joker hadn't cared much for Nihlus, he found the turian to be abrupt and standoffish but Jenkins he had liked. The crew had been devastated to learn of his demise, the young Marine had been a jubilant and humorous member of their small society. He had a smile for everyone on board and his cheer would be missed. The poor guy's corpse had been retrieved not long ago by a second ground team led by Kaidan Alenko.

The lieutenant had shaken off Doctor Chakwas's recommendations for examination. He couldn't rest until they had the bodies safely in their custody and it wasn't until Williams explained about the Husks that they understood why. What the Geth had been doing to the human civilians was nauseating. Killing them was one thing but twisting them into wretched zombies was a new kind of nightmare.

In the meantime Commander Shepard was still under observation in the Medical Bay. It had been six hours since the ground team had returned and there had still been no change in her condition. According to Chakwas, other than bumps and bruises the Commander was physically fine, it was just a matter of waiting for her to wake up. After what had happened with Jenkins and Nihlus, there was some debate as to whether that would actually happen. In fact there was a rumour going around that The Normandy was actually cursed.

Joker cast a glance at Kaidan who was slumped in the co-pilot's chair, watching the blips from the external sensors. His friend had been silent ever since he had returned to the bridge and Joker was beginning to find it oppressive. He never knew the right words to say in these situations, that's why he preferred piloting The Normandy as opposed to dealing with human contact.

"There's no room on the bridge for that little black rain cloud your carrying around." Joker stated, busying himself with calibrating the level on the inertial dampeners.

"I'm surprised there's room for the size of your ego in such a confined space." Kaidan retorted, his fingers jabbing at the keyboard.

"See that's what I like about you, your more than just a pretty face." Joker said, glancing over his shoulder at Kaidan.

His friend was starring distractedly at the screen in front of him. Joker knew that he wasn't really seeing the information. He was here on the bridge as a distraction and Joker didn't blame him. Kaidan would drive himself crazy if he just sat around waiting for them to reach the Citadel.

Joker knew that Jenkins and Kaidan had been close. Jenkins had been one of the few people that wasn't anxious around Kaidan when he used his biotics. After all the hype of a few L2's going crazy a decade ago, people were weary of biotics using the same implant. Kaidan usually kept his usage low key unless it was in combat because he hated making people feel uncomfortable. Joker thought the other man cared too much about other people's thought processes. Joker had gotten along fine not giving a damn about anyone but a select few people.

"It was a bad mission." Joker said finally, breaking the silence that was stretching the distance between them. "You couldn't have predicted this, no matter what mad biotic skills you might have."

There was pressure building up behind Kaidan's eyes. Red, hot pain was beginning to lance across his forehead, he could feel the agony stabbing into his scalp as his mind tumbled over the past few hours. He hoped this was just a headache, because he couldn't deal with one of his trade mark migraines right about now.

"We're trained for stuff like this." Kaidan said, raising his fingertips to his temples in an attempt to massage away the infliction.

"And you were as prepared as you could be in that situation." Joker pointed out before exclaiming incredulously. "You know how long it's been since anyone has actually seen a Geth, let alone been attacked by one?"

Kaidan didn't respond. He let the words sink in as the constant tune of Joker's tapping fingers echoed through the quiet bridge. The pilot had a point about the Geth, noone could have pre-empted the attack on Eden Prime and they had been outmatched despite their skill set. It didn't stop the guilt from eating him up inside, Jenkins had been his responsibility and now the kid was dead. Kaidan would have to explain to his parents that he had died bravely, defending both his team and the colony.

"I'm gonna go check on Shepard." Kaidan said, using his arms to push off from the seat.

He barely got to the doorway before Joker spoke again, his words stopping Kaidan dead in his tracks.

"You like her."

His palms came to rest on either side of the door frame as he hung his dark head for a moment. His lips clamped together as he racked his brain for an answer that sounded genuine. He could feel Joker's jade eyes studying him intently and he knew that he was betraying the truth by not responding.

"She's good at her job." Kaidan said finally, throwing the shutters down on his emotional upheaval.

Kaidan didn't want to think about Shepard like that. She was his XO and that was all she could ever be. The regs were clear on fraternization and Kaidan was the kind of man that played by the rules. They couldn't afford to jeopardise their careers for something that could be nothing more than misplaced chemistry. It didn't stop him wanting to kiss her though, he imagined running his fingers through her silky red hair and feeling the soft pressure of her pert lips against his. He wondered what she would taste like beneath his tongue and how her voice would ring in his ears as she called his name out loud.

"Yea, that's not what I meant." Joker said indicating the topic was still open for discussion.

"You know what the regulations say." Kaidan remarked simply before ducking through the door and signalling an end to the conversation.

* * *

The Mess Hall was quiet at this time of night and Sara Shepard appreciated the solitude more than she cared to admit. Her delicate hands were wrapped around a mug of steaming hot chocolate, the pads of her fingers rapping out a gentle pattern upon the glossy surface as she fixated on the empty seat across from her. Shepard couldn't sleep now even if she wanted to. The fifteen hours she had spent unconscious had been traumatising and problematic. She had been awake for the past two hours and she still didn't understand what the hell had happened to her when she'd had her mind scrambled by the Prothean beacon. The jumbled collection of images were a grotesque flipbook in her mind and she couldn't seem to put the pieces together no matter how hard she tried. It frustrated her that she couldn't solve this puzzle. It was important but she just couldn't figure out what it all meant.

"Commander, it's good to see you awake." Kaidan's warm voice greeted her.

Shepard glanced up to see the lieutenant entering the room, his own black Alliance mug clasped in his hand. His dark hair was unkempt, jutting out in all different directions. He was wearing a clean, grey T-shirt that hugged every inch of his torso and Shepard couldn't help but appreciate his firm muscular structure. His T-shirt stretched taunt over his powerful shoulders and along the curve of his spine as he placed his mug into the drinks dispenser and pressed the green button for tea. The navy blue, baggy sweats he was wearing hung low on his hips, showing off a small expanse of that dark little treasure trail that disappeared under the hem as he reached up into the cupboard for the powered milk.

"I hear I have you and Ash to thank for that." she answered, raising her cup to her lips to hide blush that was creeping across her cheeks.

"I'm sure you would have done the same for me." Kaidan responded before removing it from the dispenser and turning to face his XO.

Kaidan was even more tantalising from the front, his usually clean shaven cheeks were beginning to darken with stubble, giving him a rougher, more rugged edge. He was sexy, there was no question about that and Shepard found this version of the man almost irresistible. She thought he would be a heart breaker if he understood the effect he had on women. His gorgeous brown eyes fixated on hers before he inclined his head at the empty chair across from her.

"Go ahead." Shepard agreed before continuing their conversation. "You'd be too heavy for me to carry. I'd have to drag you by your ankles back to The Normandy."

"I'm going to ignore the fact you just called me fat." Kaidan responded, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

It was the first time Shepard had noticed that thin white scar at the left edge of his mouth, it hitched upwards when he smiled, making it more predominant. She wanted to press her lips to that little map of his history before she kissed his delectable mouth.

"I was going to say cuddly." Shepard teased, tilting her head as she appraised his body once more.

Usually Kaidan would feel uneasy being objectified in such a manner but with Shepard it felt different. There was no leering like he was used to when he visited bars. This was an assessment of interest and he liked it. He stayed purposely still, watching as her beautiful blue eyes roved over him in a manner that made him feel coveted. This was more than just simple desire, the sensation was intimate and deep. This connection between them was both fragile and precious.

It had been years since Kaidan had connected with someone on both an emotional and physical level and it had never been like this. He had discovered early on in his career that dating civilians never worked out for him. He despised the fights over his continued absence or the questions regarding the missions that he was bound by law not to discuss. His career had become his main focus and flings had never been his style. He had remained abstinent for such a long time and then Shepard had come along, causing his hormones to launch into overdrive.

Kaidan allowed his affectionate gaze to detract from Shepard's pretty features and trail down along the lithe curvature of her milky white throat. He remembered how soft her skin had felt underneath his fingertips when he searched for her pulse back on Eden Prime. He wondered if the rest of her body was the same, he wanted to trace the patterns of her scars with his tongue as he learned each and everyone of their stories. She had changed from her black flak suit and was now clad in the standard blue Alliance fatigues. Her creamy flesh looked almost translucent against the colour and he found his right hand curling into a fist to stop himself from actually reaching out and touching her.

He continued his visual exploration the same way she conducted hers. His gaze lingered over the modest shape of her breasts before he admired her lean and athletic physique. She was perfect for him and the worst part was that she had no idea how tempting she was. His eyes strayed up to her heart shaped face and he felt his heart rate beginning to pick up once he saw how bright those cornflower blue eyes really were. The anticipation was building between them, Shepard could feel her skin prickling with the raw sexual charge as heat flared through her. Kaidan noticed the slight rosy glow of her cheeks and the way that she was biting her lower lip and it sent a thrill tingling right through his body at the knowledge that this was all because of him.

"I never would have taken you for a cuddler Shepard." Kaidan murmured.

His handsome expression full of mirth as he raised his mug to his mouth with his left hand to take a sip his tea. He found her response to him endearing and he understood that right now he wasn't seeing her as his commanding officer. She was a woman, one that was wrapped up in a hue of mystery and intrigue. He could count the facts he knew about Sara Shepard on one hand and he wasn't happy with that. He demanded to know more about who this woman really was.

"I'm past the days of 'wham bam thank you ma'am' if that's what you mean." Shepard told Kaidan, the fingertip of her index finger swirling around the rim of her mug.

Shepard knew was stepping over a line here but she couldn't bring herself to care. For so long she had played the role of the diligent soldier bound by her sense of duty and honour. She had spent years building up the shields between herself and her vulnerabilities and Kaidan Alenko was kicking them down with nothing more than that smile on his lips. He was the first person who had made her want to share the aspects of her life, the good and the bad. The more time she spent with him, the more she felt like she was becoming Sara Shepard all over again instead of the ghost who had been inhibiting her form ever since Akuze.

"I've never really been a fan of that myself." Kaidan told her in that low, husky tone of his. "I like to take my time."

Jesus, those words had power behind them and from the heat that ignited behind Kaidan's chocolate brown eyes as he spoke she knew that he was having the same predicament. Her gaze lowered to his large hands and she could imagine the rough touch of his calloused palms as they ghosted along the planes of her naked body. She wanted to peel off that grey T-shirt and explore the lieutenant in ways that would make him curse and moan in abandonment. The thought was alluring and she shifted slightly in her seat in an attempt to alleviate pulsing between her legs.

"I think I need a cold shower." she said, placing both of her hands palms down on the surface of the table, her gaze never wavering from Kaidan's.

"Me too." Kaidan agreed, mimicking her gesture with his own hands.

Their fingers were almost touching and Kaidan knew it wouldn't take more than the briefest of motions to actually cover her hand with his own. He longed to do that, he wanted to entwine their fingers so that there was no more distance between them. He wished they lived in a world where their feelings for each other didn't have to be hidden.

"Hey Commander, L.T." Williams greeted as she entered the room and glided straight past their table, intent on grabbing one of the muesli bars she knew Joker had stashed at the back of cutlery drawer. "I'm guessing you guys couldn't sleep either."

Shepard sank back into her seat, her hands slipping back towards her side of the table as Kaidan's came to wrap around his mug. Their professional masks were already slipping back into place and by the time Williams turned back around to face them, Kaidan had removed himself from the table and was disappearing out of the door.

"Migraine." Shepard said by way of explanation, groaning inwardly as Williams nodded sympathetically before claiming the lieutenant's empty seat.

* * *

_**Hey guys, I think I'll be changing this story to an M soon as Kaidan and Shepard seem to be having trouble keeping their feelings separate. This chapter was an absolute nightmare to write, I had to restart countless times before the two of them took over! **_

_**Thanks very much to everyone who as read and added this story. I sincerely appreciate it!**_

_Guest: I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 2, it was really hard to attempt to pick and choose what to actually put into the chapter. I am thrilled you think I managed to pull off my version of Shep so well. I wanted her to have depth but be the sort of person who can be a bad ass when the need arises. To be fair I am not a fan of Ash in the game, she's a pain in my opinion but she wouldn't have been invited onto Shep's team if she wasn't half decent at her job so Sheo must see something in her. Fingers crossed you enjoy this chapter as much as you have the others and thank you so much for reviewing :)_


	4. Chapter 4: Boundaries

Chapter Four

_At the foot of the stairs  
With my fingers in your hair  
Baby this is it_

_3OH!3 – My First Kiss_

The Citadel wasn't the first deep space station that Kaidan had visited over his years of working for the Alliance but it certainly was the most impressive. Over the centuries it had grown and prospered, becoming a lively hive of activity for travellers of all shapes and sizes. The place reminded Kaidan of a vacation hotspot with it's plush green parks and awe-inspiring landscapes. The sun was bright and glowing in the azure sky fourteen hours a day and the place had such an amazing temperature. It was unnatural and Kaidan found it a little eerie that everything was so perfect here. He had heard people describe the place as idyllic but he thought it had nothing on the view of English Bay back home.

No matter how synthetic the features were here it was still better than Jump Zero. That place was a twisted up, metallic hell hole. Kaidan couldn't understand how he'd gotten through his time there but he was glad he had. The Alliance had been a saving grace for him after all that crap with BAat, it had given him the stability that he needed in a time when everything was chaotic and crazy.

The military base on the Citadel was one of the better places he had stayed. The rooms were clean and well maintained and Kaidan liked the fact that the officers got their own rooms. Privacy was somewhat lacking on the Normandy and it was nice to be able to have his own space every once in a while. Shepard was staying off base in an apartment that belonged to a friend of hers near the Presidium. Her friend was apparently a scientist working away on Feros, researching renewable energy sources.

Kaidan of all people understood what it was like to take a step back from the job and after today he wouldn't have blamed Shepard if she wanted to run back to that apartment and hide underneath the covers. The ear bashing she had taken from The Citadel Council had been humiliating, they had berated her for her allegations against Saren and Kaidan had hated every single second of it. Captain Anderson had tried to step in but he had been dismissed due to his history with the Spectre.

Kaidan had never seen Shepard so furious before. Her pretty blue eyes had narrowed to the point where they were almost slits, her jaw had been clenched so tightly he was scared she was about to start spitting teeth. Her entire body was rigid underneath the confines of her uniform and instead of that confident, graceful walk he was used to, she was stalking like a caged animal ready to snap. Anderson had suggested that they speak to a contact of his but they wouldn't be able to talk to the guy until tomorrow which left them hanging high and dry for the next eighteen hours. Which in turn was going to drive Shepard completely insane. He knew enough about her to know that she didn't do well when she was inactive.

Hence why they were now standing in front of one of the highest indoor climbing walls that Kaidan had ever seen. It was off one of the corridors that led to the main gym and was thankfully secluded.

On The Normandy he was becoming conscious of the regulations that surrounded them. Every time they shared the briefest touch it was like a jolt of electricity shooting through his nervous system even if it was unintentional. He couldn't control it and it made him want to touch her more and more often.

Shepard felt the same, he could tell by the way her body inclined into him whenever he brushed past her or the way that she visibly relaxed when his palm came to rest on her lower back to gently shift her in another direction. Here, there was a little more room to breath, he didn't have to worry that their movements were being constantly watched and in turn that made him feel a lot more relaxed.

"You ok there Alenko?" Shepard asked breaking Kaidan's train of thought as she yanked at the waist strap to tighten the harness around her waist.

Kaidan glanced up at his partner in crime, that brillant smile lit up his handsome features as he watched her twist the climbing rope into a figure of eight. He had never seen her in anything but her Alliance fatigues or her armour so seeing her in her athletic gear was a welcome surprise. She was wearing black Lycra leggings and a cyan coloured tank top with matching climbing shoes. Her cherry red hair was brushed back behind her ears since it was too short to scrape back into a ponytail.

"I will be once I beat you to the top." Kaidan smirked, winding his own rope through the straps of his harness before tying off the knot.

Shepard liked the wicked expression on his dark features. It was a rare glimpse into his psyche. On the Normandy he always played the straight laced, rigid soldier but here with her he was showing there was more to him than just the Lieutenant Alenko.

At the moment Shepard was enjoying the simple time they were spending together. She knew that he was going out of his way to take her mind off what had happened with The Council and it made her feel warm inside. Kaidan was the type of person that cared about other people and it gave her a little thrill to know that his entire attention was devoted to her, at least for the time being. The way he looked at her made her feel special and it was the first time that she had ever felt like that.

"You think your up to the challenge?" she teased, a smile crossing her pert pink lips for the first time since they had stepped foot on the Citadel.

The sight of that grin made something blossom in Kaidan's chest and he found himself wishing for more instances like this. He liked seeing Shepard happy. Her fingertips were already dipping into the chalk bag on her waist before she rubbed it on her hands to absorb any moisture so that she wouldn't risk slipping off the footholds.

"I think the question is are you?" he shot back, locking his own rope into place and double checking it before glancing up at her again and chuckling at the sight before him.

"You've gotten a little chalk on your cheek." Kaidan said pointing to the dusty white smudge on the apple of Shepard's face.

Shepard rolled her eyes at her own stupidity, holding up both of her hands to show Kaidan that it was pointless trying to get rid of it herself. Kaidan tutted humorously before he stepped into her proximity, using his thumb to smooth across the curve of her cheek to wipe away the smudge. Shepard's breath hitched when he touched her, her bright blue eyes met his. There was heat simmering between the two of them, it ignited like a fire in the recesses of their souls and when their gazes locked Kaidan knew that he was powerless to resist it.

Shepard's breathes were coming out in needy little pants as their lips lingered perilously close together. The noise was like an aphrodisiac ringing in his ears and he couldn't stop himself from crossing over that boundary. His lips covered hers in one swift moment, his large hands combed through her silky hair drawing Shepard even closer into the shelter of his body. Her palms came to rest on the firm planes of his chest, the fingertips of her right hand residing right over the place where his heart beat underneath his flesh.

The sensation of his lips on hers was complete and utter bliss and Shepard never wanted him to stop. There were fireworks exploding through everyone of her synapses as Kaidan claimed her mouth, his tongue delved into the hot confines of her mouth, seeking and exploitative. It was amazing how right this felt. She could feel his calloused fingers chasing up along the length of her spine, causing her to shiver at the euphoric sensation. Kaidan was like a narcotic, stealing away all of her sanity and filling her with the most amorous glow she had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

As quickly as it had started it was over. The two of them broke apart unwillingly, their foreheads still pressed together to retain the intimacy as they struggled to catch their breath. Shepard couldn't tear her eyes away from Kaidan's dark, smouldering gaze. His arms tightened around her so the two of them remained pressed together, clinging to one another as if they were clutching onto some final lifeline.

"Wow." she whispered, her small hands rubbing up and down the surface of his chest lightly, relishing the feeling of his heart underneath the tips of her fingertips.

"Yea." he agreed, the scar on the left side of his mouth quirking up as he revealed that amazing smile. "Wow."

Shepard rose up on her tiptoes and pressed a feather light kiss to the raised skin at the corner of his causing Kaidan to sigh contently at how natural the motion felt.

"I know we shouldn't be doing this." he muttered against her hairline, inhaling the vanilla scent of her hair as he spoke. "But I really don't want to let you go."

"You know things would be a hell of a lot easier if the two of us were civilians." Shepard responded, drawing away from Kaidan. "Then this wouldn't be such a big deal."

He released her reluctantly from his grasp, stepping back until there was enough distance between the two of them to be deemed professional. The coolness of the gesture stung the both of them but they knew it was necessary. They couldn't allow themselves to get caught here in a compromising position. They could be reassigned if anyone realized what was brimming between the two of them.

"We're on shore leave, why couldn't we be civilians?" Kaidan queried, crossing his arms over his chest.

"For what? Twelve hours?" Shepard shot back before the thought actually filtered through to her brain and she diverted her attention back to Kaidan. "What would we do for twelve hours?"

There was a lot the two of them could do in twelve hours. It wasn't hard for Kaidan to imagine spending the night with Shepard. He had lost count of the amount of time he had fantasized over the possibility and now that he had kissed her, he knew it would be even more spectacular than originally imagined. The thought of sex was alluring but Kaidan wanted to cement their connection. Their lives were fleeting and he wanted more than just one night from this woman. He wanted a life time with Shepard and he was beginning to get an idea on how the two of them may be able to navigate a relationship underneath the radar.

"I think you deserve better than to be a one night stand." Kaidan told Shepard honestly before gesturing between the two of them. "Because that's where this was leading and I want more than that."

Shepard said nothing. He understood that it was her prerogative to neither confirm or deny the statement and he let it go. They weren't the type of people to jump into bed like this but there was something different about this situation. Kaidan had never understood the term making love but he thought he was starting to. If him and Shepard ended up between the sheets it would be so much more than just sex.

"Let me take you out tonight." he requested earnestly. "We'll wear civilian clothes and we'll just be two normal people. There'll be no Commander Shepard or Lieutenant Alenko. We'll just be Kaidan and Sara."

It was the way her name rolled off his tongue that changed Shepard's mind. He made it sound like it was something coveted and precious. The majority of the time she forgot she even had a first name. The fact he wanted to take her out on a date meant a lot to Shepard even if she would never dare to admit it.

"Does the climbing wall count as part of the date?" Shepard asked curiously as Kaidan flashed her that wonderful smile.

"Depends do I get a kiss if I make it to the top before you do?" Kaidan responded mischievously, the subtle blue glow of his biotics beginning to emit from his stationary form.

"Biotics are cheating." she informed him, holding up her finger to indicate how serious she was. "You bounce me off the wall and we call it quits."

"Deal." Kaidan agreed before they took up their starting positions and raced up the wall.

* * *

_**Hey guys! I just want to say thank you to everyone who has added or faved this story. I really appreciate your support! **_

_SRH: I am glad your interested to see where this is going. I have to admit I am too, these two just constantly seem surprise me. LMAO! The more you stare the faster I write :p Thank you so much the review!_

_Kyria: I am really happy your enjoying the story, a lot of time and effort has gone into writing it so I appreciate the time you've taken to review the story!_

_Leigh: LMAO! It was the first thing that came into my head when the two of them were bantering. I could just see it as Shepard's response. I wanted to show their relationship developing in a romantic manner and then the chemistry just sort of took over. They started creating their own dynamic and the rest you know! Thank you very much for the review!_

_Gracie: I am glad you liked the flirting, the two of them just started playing off each other and before I knew it their relationship was becoming a lot more complicated. LMAO! If I got to cuddle Kaidan I would be a happy woman! Thanks so much for your kind words!_


	5. Chapter 5: Of Geeks & Glow Sticks

Chapter Five

_There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate, I'm yours_

_Jason Mraz – I'm Yours_

The bar was called Orion's and apparently served the best cheeseburgers in the whole of the galaxy. It was located high up on the Presidium, untouched by the tourists who frequented the gigantic space station. It had been Shepard's choice to meet here and Kaidan had to admit it was an excellent idea. She had apparently been here a few times during her previous stays on the Citadel and he liked the idea that she was sharing something personal with him.

The booth he had selected was stationed at the back of the bar, right beside a window that looked out across the giant, sweeping city below. He could see the outlines of the buildings lingering in the distance, patterned with the glittering white lights of traffic. It was always busy in the Citadel even when night had fallen. The bleak, sky loomed overhead, it's artificial stars twinkling overhead. The sweet serenade of jazz was playing in the air adding to the laid back atmosphere that seemed to shroud the bar. On his wrist his orange Omi-Tool bleeped alerting him to a text from Sara stating she was running a little late. Kaidan didn't mind, that woman had the weight of the world upon her shoulders and she was handling it better than anybody would have.

It surprised Kaidan how quickly he had gotten used to thinking of Commander Shepard as Sara. He liked the way her first name rolled off his tongue when he framed the syllables on his lips. Throughout the duration of their climb they had traded banter until Sara had gotten to the top of the wall. She wasn't a gracious winner but Kaidan had adored the jubilant expression on her pretty features as she perched on the bench that stretched along the length of the apparatus. She had needed a victory today and he'd been the one to provide it. They had abseiled down the wall side by side, just in time to be greeted by the new batch of N4 recruits awaiting their lesson.

The two of them had stuck around for a while for an impromptu Q&A session. He had fielded his own queries on the use of biotics in combat whilst Sara had answered questions about advancing to N5 and N6. There was a fierce sense of pride in her voice as she spoke and Kaidan came to understand that making it to N7 was one of Sara's greatest personal achievements.

In the field the Commander portrayed an unshakable determination and an impenetrable exterior. He thought if some of these recruits could see her in action they wouldn't believe that that soldier and the encouraging young woman standing before them were the same person. The Commander was a force to be reckoned with, there was no question about that. Kaidan knew she hated the publicity surrounding her experiences but he really couldn't see how anybody else could be a better choice of role model.

Eventually they had been able to depart from the gym and make their way to their separate residences. Kaidan had busied himself playing cards for a while against Joker, Williams and few of the other marines that had been hanging around the halls. Joker, as usual had won a small fortune off the group before Kaidan bowed out to change into his civilian clothes. He'd earned a discreet hat tip off of his friend before he'd managed to slip out of the door.

Williams had been waiting for him when he'd exited his room and he found that a little disconcerting at best. Her appraisal of him had been irritating and inappropriate and when he refused to discuss his plans she resorted to childish tactics in an attempt to bait him. He wasn't sure whether the brunette actually had a crush on him or whether she just hated to feel left out but her comments about him visiting The Consort were bang out of order. He had the utmost respect for their Asari and their chosen professions but he had never been one of those sad, pathetic men who paid for company. He had a feeling there would be a rumour going around the lower decks when they got back on The Normandy about his romantic entanglements with an Asari stripper. So long as Sara was kept out of it he didn't care.

Kaidan took a long swig from his beer bottle before returning his attention to the open doorway once more. He would have thought his nerves would be jangling by now, the same way they always did before a big date but the truth was he felt confident and self assured. Sara had a way of instilling those emotions in the people surrounding her, it was a side effect of her dedicated personality. He thought the lack of uniform probably helped. Without it he felt anonymous and he enjoyed the immense freedom that it afforded.

A flash of cherry red caught his eye and he adjusted his trajectory to focus on the lone woman striding into the room. Even without the uniform Sara cut an imposing figure and Kaidan felt a savage surge of possession as he drank in her lithe form. Those skin tight black jeans hugged the contours of her lower body causing his mind to run rampant with the image of stripping them from her pretty, pale flesh. She was wearing a charcoal grey vest top that extenuated her modest curves more than her Alliance fatigues ever had. The thin, silver chain of her dogtags disappeared into the space between her breasts. Kaidan found himself considering what Sara's flushed skin would taste like under his tongue as he followed the pattern of the chain. He had never considered what she would dress like outside of work until now and he liked her sense of style. It was simple and dynamic in it's own unique way. However it was that sultry smile that crossed her pert pink lips that really took Kaidan's breath away.

The moment Sara laid eyes on him she was in motion, gliding through the mass of patrons with ease and precision. The look in her cornflower blue eyes mirrored his as she took in the sight of the young lieutenant as he awaited her. His handsome features were clean shaven and neat, that sexy white scar quirking up at the curve of his mouth as he grinned his greeting. The white v-neck top Kaidan was sporting complemented his tanned complexion and clung to his broad chest and shoulders like a second skin. She was already aware that underneath his clothes he had an impressive physique but that shirt made her heart rate accelerate at the prospect of removing it from his lavish form.

Sara couldn't bring herself to examine the way he fit into those navy blue jeans, she was frightened all of her self control would lapse if she did. She wasn't the only one checking him out and that primal protective instinct was demanding that she climb into his lap and claim him as her own. Jesus, he was perfection in and out of a uniform.

"Hey." Kaidan greeted as Sara slipped into the booth across from him. "I took the liberty of ordering you a Desperado."

He pushed the bottle of yellow liquid towards her with the pads of his calloused fingers, watching intently as Sara plucked the lime off the rim and placed it onto the napkin that came with the drink.

"Thanks." she uttered reaching out to clink her bottle against his as a symbol of comradeship. "This is just what I needed after a day like today."

"Was it The Council or the kids?" Kaidan inquired, the left side of his mouth twitching upwards again, showing off that sexy little scar.

Sara had questions for Kaidan. She wanted to know how he had gotten that little nick and if he had any more littering his firm physique. Lord knew she was a treasure map of injuries, she wondered if that would bother Kaidan the same way it did her past lovers. In her world scars should be revered and respected.

"It was the kids." Sara responded to his question before taking a long sip of her beer. "They were like puppies, all yipping at the same for attention. Being crowded in like that freaks me out sometimes."

Kaidan could see her point. The N4 recruits had swarmed her when they realized that Commander Shepard was in their midst. She didn't like being the centre of attention and that was only going to get worse throughout the duration of her career. It was a struggle for her to be in the lime light, every decision she made would be under scrutiny and Kaidan couldn't imagine the immense pressure that must put upon her shoulders. He wondered how she had started out. Had she always been this tough, reserved woman? Or had that been something that developed?

"What were you like as a recruit?" Kaidan asked curiously, his chin coming to rest on his large hand.

"I was just really quiet and focused. The Alliance was offering me a wonderful opportunity. It was important for me to do the best that I could. " Sara answered, furrowing her brow before she turned the subject around. "What about you? Were you one of those kids who joined the Alliance with hopes of shaping the galaxy?"

The topic was clearly off limits and Kaidan wouldn't push her if she didn't want to reveal the nature of her recruitment. He caught an inkling of sorrow in her expressive gaze before her defences slammed back into place, portraying that polite blank mask. Her reaction made him consider how the hell he was going to answer the question himself. She knew he was biotic and that didn't appear to alarm her the way it had with some of his previous girlfriends. Knowing your boyfriend could destroy things with his mind was a deal breaker for a lot of women, he figured if he had ever told any of them about Vyrnnus they would have deemed him a monster.

"I wasn't a romantic if that's what you mean. I joined because I wanted to do some good. The Alliance has a lot of power and I wanted to help make a difference in people's lives." Kaidan said, selecting his words very carefully before he leaned forward conspiratorially. "Plus the fact I really like Star Wars."

Sara's entire face lit up at words and the effect was awe inspiring. Kaidan felt his heart beginning to beat harder in his chest at that sensational expression. He watched her with an intensity that made her eyes sparkle and her grin grow wider as she pressed her palms together as if in prayer.

"Please God, tell me your a fan of the last three because the first three were abysmal." she declared passionately.

Kaidan used his right hand to draw a metaphorical line underneath the first three films in order to declare his alliance to her opinion. Inside his brain was cheering at the prospect of finding a mate with similar interests to his own. It was rare to find somebody who was a fan of the classics the way he was and if there was ever a sign that Sara and himself were meant for one another it was this very conversation.

"What the hell was Jar Jar Binks supposed to be?" he responded, gesturing wildly to show how indignant he was over the subject of the prequels."Was he a turian with floppy ears? I mean seriously how the hell do you come up with that?!"

"I really don't think you should mention that to anyone in here." Sara said pointedly, tilting her head in the direction of a particularly gruff looking turian. "I don't want to have to fight my way out because we nerded out and insulted someone Obi Wan."

Kaidan's tanned cheeks flushed pink at the use of the nickname before he brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck. Sara acknowledged his embarrassment by arching her eyebrows before Kaidan took the hint and elaborated.

"I used to think I had The Force when I was a kid." he explained quietly. "That was before my dad caught me using my biotics as a nightlight to read Justice League comics after bedtime. I pretty much kept it a secret up until that point."

There was more to that story, Sara could sense it underneath the flow of his words. He shifted in his seat under her analytical gaze, his discomfort becoming more apparent. She had read his file, she knew that one day after his fourteenth birthday he had been plucked from home, after school and dumped in Jump Zero. She could read between the lines and she didn't need a degree to understand that a biotic with Kaidan's abilities would have been a key source of interest for a company like Conatix Industries. Some of the tests that they had conducted were illegal now, they had done things to those kids that were banned from society. Her heart went out to Kaidan, she couldn't help but imagine him as that terrified teenager subjected to round after round of invasive procedures. There was such shame in his finely sculptured features and she wanted to steal it all away. She wanted to remind him how far he'd come and how much she admired his ability to survive and adjust.

Instead Sara reached out across the table and threaded her slender fingers through Kaidan's, linking the two of them together. The familiar thrum of their connection flooded through the air, filling Kaidan with a reassurance he had never felt before. Sara wouldn't make him talk about it if he didn't want to but the gesture told him that she was here for him whenever the need arose. There was intimacy in that touch and Kaidan craved that more than anything.

"If you want we can get you a glow stick and you can still pretend your a Jedi." Sara offered up humorously, breaking the tension that was developing between them.

Kaidan let out an unexpected bark of laughter, the stress draining out of his rigid form as the sound reverberated through the room. Sara adored that noise, when he laughed she thought it made the world around them just that tiny bit brighter. Kaidan gave her fingers a distinctive, grateful squeeze before responding to her comment.

"I think I can fend off a Geth attack with a glow stick."

That self assured version of the lieutenant was back with vigour and Sara found herself admiring Kaidan's tenacity. It was the mark of a born and bred survivor, she knew that from her own experiences.

"And maybe I'll just use my pistol like a Batarang and see how many of them I can take out." she said flippantly before holding up her free hand to signal the bartender for another drink.

Kaidan couldn't hide the surprise that crossed his handsome features and he found himself grinning like a complete idiot at the fact that Sara clearly knew who Batman was. Jesus, she was ticking every single one of his boxes tonight. Smart, funny, sexy with similar interests and a sense of ideals almost identical to his. It was almost a shame that the two of them did work together. On one side he loved spending time with her aboard the Normandy, the place had become a second home to him over the past six months and they were constantly in close quarters. The down side was the fraternization regs, while they worked together they could not exist as a couple and he despised the thought of Sara being cast as some dirty little secret.

"I wouldn't actually put that past you with your tech capability." Kaidan submitted thoughtfully, his mind drifting back to the Batarang. "I've got The Force on my side so I can protect you if your Batarang thing doesn't work out."

"I didn't see much of The Force whilst we were out on the climbing wall." Sara reminded him, pausing long enough for the bartender to set down another two beers.

"That's because you were under the power of my Jedi mind trick." Kaidan informed her, holding up two of the fingers on his free hand and sweeping them in front of her face as if he was conducting it.

"You know, that would explain that growing attraction I've been feeling towards you lately." Sara shot back, her pretty blue eyes dazzling with amusement as he made the motion once more.

Kaidan liked seeing this side of Sara. Her military counterpart was always guarded, the same way his was. There was never time to learn or explore more about each other. Usually he would be embarrassed at admitting his love of Sci Fi or the fact he read comic books but Sara was the same breed of person. She acknowledged his inner geek and embraced it with her own. He knew enough about her to know that she was obsessed with tinkering with anything from over a hundred years ago. She could fix an Omi-Tool in five seconds flat and sometimes she played an old game called Pac Man to relax. This was the softer edge of the Commander, this was the real Sara Shepard and the possibility of knowing her better than anybody else in this galaxy excited him.

"It's not my raw sexual magnetism?" Kaidan asked his partner in crime, putting a hand to his chest and looking wounded.

Sara stroked her chin as if pondering the problem and it took Kaidan a minute to realise that she was doing an impression of one of those old Kung Fu masters with the long white beards. He almost snorted beer out of his nose, chortling in response to her imitation as a single thought rattled through his mind.

Best First Date Ever.

* * *

The Presidium was truly spectacular at night. The cherry blossom like trees had bright fairy lights woven amongst the branches highlighting the rest of the plush green area. The shops were closed but the cafe was still open. The park area itself was littered with couples enjoying the ambiance of the cool night time air.

The Citadel was a truly amazing place but Sara had never felt at home here. The space station was a port of call for her and nothing more, she preferred the intimate surroundings of The Normandy. She always felt better when she was in motion and she thought that was a product of living on Mindoir. Being constantly on the move meant that it was harder to be found and that deep seated phobia was ingrained within the recesses of her psyche.

Beside her Kaidan was talking, his rich husky voice flowed over her body like liquid honey as he described the countless reasons she had to watch a movie called Jaws. The normalcy of their interaction was oddly pacifying and it wasn't hard for her to believe that in another time and place the two of them could have been a real couple.

It hadn't been long since they had left the bar. Kaidan had cringed when he had checked out the time on his Omi- Tool, she'd seen the disappointment in his dark features as the two of them had rose to their feet, slipping on their respective jackets. They were on active duty as of oh six hundred hours and it was already oh one hundred. The time limitations frustrated Sara in ways that she couldn't describe. She had enjoyed tonight and she wanted so much more from Kaidan but their duty beckoned and they were both a stickler for the rules.

"I guess this is me." Sara said as they came to a halt outside of a huge apartment complex.

Jesus, she didn't want this to end. An awful ache pinged through Sara's chest as she tilted her head and looked into those wonderful dark chocolate eyes. She wanted to spent the rest of the night tangled up with Kaidan amongst the sheets of the queen sized bed upstairs, whispering sweet endearments as her hands caressed every inch of his naked flesh.

"We can't." he uttered as if reading her mind, his breath becoming more laboured as he lingered within her proximity. "It'll change everything."

It was so hard to resist her when she was so damn tantalising. That seraphic scent of vanilla was in his nose making his head spin as he thought of her laid out beneath him. He wondered what her nails would feel like raking down his tanned skin, her smooth athletic legs locked around his waist as he pleasured her to the point of no return. God, he wanted to hear her needy whimpers ringing in his ears as his teeth grazed her delicate skin.

Tonight had only reaffirmed what the both of them already knew. If they indulged their desires then they wouldn't be able to stop. Kaidan was like a narcotic for Sara, the fact she had even come here tonight proved that. After that stunning kiss at the climbing wall, she had been addicted to him. Every touch, flirtation and tease had been leading up to this moment and their military counterparts were putting their foot down. The two of them had had their fun, it was time to come back to reality. If they crossed this line then there would be no turning back, this wouldn't just be one night, it would be the beginning of a lifetime and right now they couldn't afford the cost.

"Thank you." she said quietly placing her palms on his chest. "I had a wonderful time tonight."

"Me too." Kaidan murmured, the left side of his mouth hitching up into a sad smile revealing that little white scar.

Sara couldn't help it, she rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth to that tiny little line, blessing it with the most tenderest of kisses. Kaidan closed his eyes, revelling in the loving sensation before Sara pulled away. He opened his eyes to see Sara retreating into safety of the apartment building. He watched as she got onto the elevator and vanishing from his view.

"Until tomorrow Commander." he whispered before disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

_**Hey guys, I just want to say a huge thank you for your continued support. It means a lot to me that people are enjoying this story. **_

_Gracie: I'm glad you love the direction the story is going in. The two of them just steal the plot and run with it. LMAO! I always wondered what the crew would do while Shepard was off running errands. I thought it was only fair that they get a little time to themselves. Thanks for review, I sincerely appreciate it!_

_Jules: It's nice to meet you! I always imagine when you have the right kind of chemistry that you always have amazing kisses. LMAO! I think Kaidan and Shep feel that way too! Being an utter moron I forgot that not everyone has been on a climbing wall. Basically after mounting the wall it wouldn't have mattered because the thing is covered in chalk from other climbers so it would be all over them anyway. It's different spending on each wall but I apologize for not explaining properly. Thank you so much for taking the time to review, I appreciate it._


	6. Chapter 6: Bring Down The Sky

**AN: There will be spoilers for DLC: Bring Down The Sky over the next few chapters.**

Chapter Six

_If everyone cared and nobody cried  
If everyone loved and nobody lied  
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride  
Then we'd see the day when nobody died_

_Nickelback – If Everyone Cared_

The Normandy was a safe haven from the outside world, which was why Joker preferred the shelter of their frigate. The bridge was his domain and he was at the helm guiding The Normandy through the various realms of the solar system. Joker didn't understand how anyone could not want to be a pilot? It was the best job in the whole damn galaxy.

Joker worked in sync with The Normandy as if the ship was an extension of his crippled body. There wasn't a soul on board who questioned his abilities and it honoured him that the crew would willingly entrust their lives into his hands. He would never admit that out loud. His attitude made him come off like an asshole sometimes but that was part of his persona. Over the years he had learned to hone and develop emotional armour in order to cope with his condition.

Vrolik Syndrome was a bitch to live with and with his leg braces and crutches it was impossible to deny that it didn't restrict his motions. He loathed the pity in people's eyes when they looked at him hobbling along. They saw a weak, fractured human being and Jeff Moreau felt like he was constantly proving that he was anything but broken. Joker would never brag about overcoming his adversity but he would point out his prowess to others. He had gotten this job purely based on his own excellence. It had been hard work but Joker had never wanted anything so badly. He had earned his right to be here and he didn't give a shit if it made anyone feel uncomfortable.

Shepard was sitting in the co-pilot's seat, her nimble fingers dancing over the console as she bit her lower lip. She had been here for fifteen minutes attempting to track the changes that had been made to The Normandy's drive core over the past few hours. The woman had a gift with Tech. He had watched her progress through the control console as she worked alongside the Quarian. If he was honest he got paranoid when people starting messing with The Normandy's systems so he liked to keep an eye on things in case they needed to be undone. Yet Shepard's work was flawless, she had somehow managed to amp up the inertial dampeners and boost their shields by five percent.

Joker had to admit, he was impressed by her skill level. It made him curious to learn more about their XO and her history with Tech, he wondered if it was a natural flair or whether it was something that she had studied throughout her years with the Alliance. He had tried to gleam the information from her files but they had been classified to such a level that even he couldn't hack it. He thought about asking Tali for a hand but there was that nagging issue of morality hanging in the air.

Joker chanced a glance over his shoulder at Shepard, trying to catch a peek at what she was doing now. She was still working diligently from the co-pilot seat, her hand reaching up to the secondary controls above her and flicking several buttons. She had become accustomed to the bridge almost as quickly as he had and Joker couldn't help but think that he would be spending a lot more time in her company now that she had control of The Normandy.

The handover from Captain Anderson to Shepard hadn't changed much except for the addition of several new team members. Some of the crew were disquieted by the presence of aliens on their ship, most though had been trusting of Shepard's judgement on the matter. Williams was the most vocal, Joker didn't know what her deal was but it annoyed him how pro-humanity the brunette was. There were heroes and villains in every culture including their own, turians, krogan and Quarians were no different.

Shepard was swiftly working her way up his interesting list. The way that their XO had stood up to the Citadel Council had been ballsy. Nobody else he knew would have done that and it had taken guts to work around their imperialistic view of the galaxy. In turn for her perseverance she had been rewarded with a position amongst the Spectres, something Joker thought she heartily deserved after Eden Prime. The holo someone had taken of Shepard's promotion had gone viral and was racking up figures that even Joker found hard to believe. She was quickly becoming the beacon of humanity and Joker wasn't sure how he felt about working with a living legend. She put on no airs or graces and there was no arrogance about her elevation. She was the same person she was when she'd first stepped onto the Normandy and Joker thought that had to say something about her strength of character.

Shepard made a clucking noise with her tongue and furrowed her brow in concentration. Joker had come to realise over the short duration of their time together that this was the sound she made when she was puzzling something over in her head. Joker pondered whether it was part of the glitch she was trying to fix or something else a little more close to home.

Despite the fact that Joker was the least socially motivated person on The Normandy he appeared to be the only one that had noticed the chemistry that charged between Shepard and Alenko. The minute they had shaken hands he had witnessed something spark and he was sure it had turned into some sort of slow burn. The way they interacted with one another was still professional, that was just the sort of people they were in terms of their jobs and their positions but he could sense that something had changed between the two of them over the past twenty four hours.

Joker had noticed that today Alenko seemed to smile a lot more when Shepard was around. Their body language had subtly changed when it came to existing in the same space as one another. There were small tells that he doubted anyone else but himself would notice but they were still there as clear as day. Shepard would lean in when Alenko spoke and when he entered a room his attention would always be fixated on their commanding officer.

The scuttlebutt on the lower decks was that Alenko had spent the previous night in the company of a beautiful Asari but Joker thought that was just a rumour. From their conversations over the past six months he had picked up that Alenko was a one woman kinda guy. He never had flings and his last relationship had ended badly a long time ago. Nobody could remember when he'd last shown interest in a woman. Joker seemed to be the only aware that since Shepard had come aboard, Alenko had only had eyes for her.

The prospect of that relationship intrigued Joker. It was clear that the two were cut from a similar cloth and he thought they would make an excellent couple but those fraternization regs still loomed dangerously overhead. He would be watching closely to see if there were any developments in the future.

"So I hear you had your hands full back on the Citadel." Joker said into the comfortable silence that had been stretching between them over the past half hour.

"You mean Hal the self destructing supercomputer or the fact I had to play agony aunt between the Asari Consort and several of her clients?" Shepard uttered distractedly, using a pinching motion on the touch screen to zoom into the image in front of her.

"Actually I was going to ask you if you had a habit of bringing home strays as a kid but the Consort thing is much more interesting." Joker informed his XO, regarding her with curiosity.

Shepard rolled her eyes in response to his words. There seemed to be a lot of interest going around about the Asari Consort and she thought it had something to do with the alleged rumours that General Septimus had been spreading. Although they had cleared Sha'ira's name, it appeared to have boosted her popularity to be the source of such gossip. The other woman had been abundantly thankful for the discreet manner in which they had solved both of her problems and the way she chose to express her gratitude had been immensely personal. She understood that giving the Gift of Words was not something that the Asari took lightly but to have the other woman pressed cheek to cheek with her, whispering in her ear had been a tad invasive for Shepard's liking. The gesture had been far too intimate, especially followed up with the Asari's generous offer that Shepard could have an hour of her time. Objectively she could see that the Asari were an attractive species but Shepard simply did not swing that way. She had thanked the Consort instead and moved onto their next set of priorities.

"You wanted to talk about the aliens?" Shepard prompted Joker, tearing herself out of her reverie and back into the present.

"I like Tali, the calibrations the two of you have been working our boosting our power outputs." he praised lightly before continuing. "And Garrus I can understand joining our team, even though the way he keeps polishing that sniper rifle of his freaks me out."

As far as Shepard was concerned Garrus was only conducting good gun maintenance. There hadn't been much of an opportunity to use some of his favourite weapons during his days with C-Sec so he had brought them along and was passing the time by giving them a methodical clean. It made Shepard feel more comfortable knowing that he was as prepared as she was in regards to being out in the field.

"Your perplexed about Wrex." Shepard summarised, leaning over the left arm of the chair with one arm in order to swipe a tool from the little red box on the floor.

"He makes some of the crew a little uncomfortable." Joker stated flatly.

There was no easy to get the words out and he didn't see the point of mincing them. Shepard needed to hear this kind of stuff before it become a matter of unrest. In reality it was a small group of people but he thought Shepard should deal with it before it became a larger problem.

"In a 'grind your bones to make his bread' kinda way?" Shepard responded, reaching up to the panel above her and popping open the spring loaded hatch. "Or are we talking about his usual blunt manner? Because I don't think he can help that."

"Pressly thinks he's obnoxious and Williams..." Joker trailed off, unable to bring himself to say such colourful expletives in front of his XO.

He could be an asshole at times but he wasn't vulgar. He didn't want to spout off that xenophobic nonsense that had been coming out of Williams. He liked the brunette well enough, she was funny and smart but her view on the galaxy was twisted by the shadows of her history. She needed to let go and move on from all of that crap.

"They're living in the past." Shepard told Joker frankly as she disconnected several of the wires from their sockets and plugged them into a second panel alongside the first. "The First Contact War was a long time ago, things have changed. If we all held grudges like that galaxy would be a very lonely place."

"I get that." Joker agreed, watching as Shepard slotted the metal sheeting back into place over the wires. "I just think you should smooth things over a little. I'm not saying invite them all for a dinner date but maybe share a different point of view with them. As their Commanding Officer they have respect for you especially after Eden Prime. It wouldn't be a bad thing to use that to your advantage."

"You can't force people to change their opinions Joker." Shepard pointed out, replacing the tool back into it's box before sagging backwards in the seat. "But I will talk to them and see what I can do to make things easier."

"Huh Commander, not to interrupt this little heart warming discussion we're having here but I believe that there's something you need to see." Joker interrupted urgently, bringing Shepard's attention back to the screen in front of her.

It took a second for Shepard to register what the console was displaying. Her pretty features pinched into an expression of utmost concern as she used moved the view point of the screen with the tips of her fingers.

"Is that an asteroid?" Shepard requestioned as her brain fumbled over the details, struggling to understand how this could even be possible.

"It's heading straight towards the capital of Terra Nova." Joker informed his XO as he studied the trajectory intently. "If we're lucky they've got four hours."

Four hours wasn't long at all. Shepard couldn't bring herself to think of the level of devastation that would occur if the asteroid actually did strike the planet. The most important thing at the moment was to get as much information as she could.

"According to Alliance logs it shouldn't even be anywhere near this planet." Shepard murmured as she read through a file entitled 'Asteroid X57'.

"The only explanation is that there must be something on the surface propelling it in that direction." Joker said thoughtfully, his fingertips tapping out an anxious tune.

Joker's words twanged in Shepard's brain and she found herself jumping out of her seat before she allowed herself to waste anymore time pondering the predicament. She had a theory but there was no way to tell how much of it was a hypothesis until they were down on the surface.

"Radio Alenko and Garrus, have them meet me at the Mako." Shepard ordered as she headed towards the open doorway leading to CIC. "We need to to see what's going on down there."

* * *

_**Hey guys, I hope you all enjoyed Joker and Shepard. I had the full intention of writing Kaidan and Shepard having trouble sleeping on the Citadel but Joker muscled in and wanted to say his piece, hence how this chapter turned out. Thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favs or alerts. I appreciate it!**_

_Jules: lol I would not have been able to resist Kaidan, I would have been like shouldn't you walk me to my actual apartment just to make sure there's no Geth hiding in the shadows. Lol Sorry about the explanation I got confused to what you meant, but I think your right :p Thanks so much for taking the time to review, I love reading them!_

_Gracie: lol I know I hate going back to work! I'd want that evening to last forever too. Don't worry there will be some more fluffiness coming up over the next few chapters. I am really happy your enjoying this, it is so much fun to write!_


	7. Chapter 7: Truth Be Told

**AN: This chapter is rated M, for disturbing content and for smut. Also mild spoilers for the Bring Down The Sky DLC.**

Chapter Seven

_Making sure that we remember yeah  
Cause we all matter too  
If the truth has been forbidden  
Then we're breaking all the rules_

_Emeli Sande – Read All About It (Part 3)_

Thirteen years ago.

Sara was bleeding. She could feel the red hot tear trickling down the apple of her pale cheek from the stinging cut just underneath her left eye. The tang of copper hung heavily in the air, she could taste it on her tongue as she took breath after agonising breath. The pressure was crushing down on her chest even worse than before constricting her ability to even gasp against the excruciating pain radiating from her abdomen. She was going to die here, she harboured no illusions of rescue or mercy. Any naivety she had had been shattered the moment that bastard batarian had laid war on their home and murdered both of her parents before her eyes.

The laminate kitchen flooring felt cold underneath her spine as she lay completely paralysed by the burning torment in her lower gut. Her small hands were clutching the remains of her snow white apron trying to use the cotton to stifle the bleeding. She knew that it was too late for that, the bullet had tore through her young flesh, shredding everything in it's path. She needed immediate medical attention but there would be no aid. There was ice in her veins, it was chasing through her system like a tsunami, dulling the sensations that plagued her body. She could feel herself beginning to tremble as black spots danced in her vision and she knew the end was near. She welcomed death, it was a sweet release from the anguish she had endured at the hands of Balak the batarian.

She remembered the stench of his rancid breath on her face as his hand had clutched her jaw, his talons digging into her sensitive flesh as he trapped her lithe form between the table and his overbearing body. She could feel every single inch of him pressed up against her and she couldn't hide her revulsion and that sickening terror as his free hand sought out the hem of her yellow summer dress. He got off on that, she could tell from the way his beady pupils dilated when he looked into her panic-stricken features. She wanted to cry out for her father but he was already dead, she could see his dull, lifeless eyes staring at her from across the room over Balak's shoulder.

He had shoved the dress up causing it to bunch at her hips as his talons scraped along her thigh, increasingly getting harder until they broke through her milky skin leaving rivets of blood trailing down her leg.

"I want you to scream." he had hissed, his gravelly voice grating through her brain as her hand flailed behind her in search of anything she could use to defend herself.

She would rather have died than become his whore, she knew what slavers did with girls like her. They sent them to whorehouses to work off their debts or kept them as pets after inserting that monstrous cranial implant. She couldn't go through that, she wouldn't allow herself to be violated and used in such a manner.

Her slender fingers had curled around that sharp blade, the one that she had been cutting apples with for pie before Balak had broken in. She gripped the handle tight in her fist as he used his grasp on her jaw to tilt her head way from him revealing her vulnerable throat. He buried his face in her long red hair, the sound of him inhaling her scent sent a violent shiver of horror echoing through her.

"I'm going to fuck you raw." he whispered, his sulphurous breath burning in her ear.

The howl he made when she stabbed him gave Sara the greatest satisfaction imaginable. She felt his body sag against her as those beady black eyes focused on her surprise and malice. The contact made her skin want to crawl right off her bones and she shoved him as hard as she could away from her, hoping and praying that the vegetable knife she had plunged between his ribs had hit something vital. He staggered a few steps backwards until he came to rest against the kitchen counter opposite. Vivid red blood was dripping out of his side where the knife still resided and Sara found herself surprised that the bastard didn't bleed black. His hand was already going for the pistol in his waist holster. Sara darted for the door, her bare feet slapping against the laminate as she lunged for the exit.

The blast had hit her like an explosion, knocking the wind right out of her as the bullet ripped through her abdomen. She didn't remember much after that except the menacing voice of her captor radioing for help. That was the first time she had heard his name but it wasn't the last.

* * *

They were sitting in the Commander's quarters staring at one another. Shepard was seated on the edge of her bed, her palms placed together between her knees as her vivid blue eyes bored into Kaidan's own. He had been perched in her comfortable chair for the duration of her story and he was fighting the immense urge to breach every single professional boundary they had. His fists were white knuckled as he exhaled deeply against the rage that was lancing through him. What Shepard had just described was truly harrowing and he wanted to murder the bastard that had tortured that innocent sixteen year old.

"Your glowing." Shepard pointed out, her voice entirely devoid of emotion.

Kaidan looked down at his hands to see that faint aura of blue beginning to manifest. His anger crackled in the air around him, fusing brighter as he imagined her lying there all alone in her family's farmhouse amongst the corpses of her parents. He was struggling to control his unruly emotions, they were destructive and vengeful demanding that he solve the injustice that had been done to Shepard.

Jesus, he wanted to break something, that batarian bastard had been in their hands on X57 and they had been forced to let him go. Fuck, that ate him up more than anything. No wonder Shepard had been so solemn after that mission. She had done the right thing in saving the lives of the hostages but it must be stabbing at her insides to know she had had to let the man who had murdered her entire colony vanish into space.

Around him Shepard's personal items were beginning to tremble and shake as the mass effect field grew and grew, bathing them in that potent blue light. Kaidan clenched his jaw and screwed his eyes shut against the violence that was spinning up deep inside, struggling to maintain some resemblance of control. He hadn't felt like this since he'd snapped Vyrnnus's neck and that convulsive, fierce anger was getting more and more dangerous by the second.

"Kaidan." Shepard whispered his name like it was sacred.

Her dainty hand came to rest on his broad shoulder, her thumb lightly caressing the line of his collarbone through his uniform as he opened his eyes. He found himself staring into those beautiful blue eyes, his heart literally aching at the resignation inside of them. He understood she was dealing with that had happened back on the asteroid, she had an amazing ability to compartmentalize and that was something that he envied. He wished he could let this go, that he didn't look at her and want to kiss way her memories of that sorrow and all the suffering she had endured.

That however wasn't his reality. He knew why she had told him this story and he understood the fear and the darkness that was eating up her heart and soul. Today she had stood on the edge of the highest cliff and it had taken every single ounce of her self control not to hurtle over it. If she had killed Balak, she would have condemned those hostages in the main facility to death, she had made the right call for the good of those people but not for herself. Every fibre of Shepard demanded justice for what batarian had done to her colony and the guilt was taking hold of her like a nightmare she couldn't wake up from. She thought she'd failed her parents and in turn herself.

"Come here." Kaidan uttered, his voice rough with emotion as he reached out for Shepard, his hands lightly guiding her until she was seated upon his lap.

He had forgotten how petite she actually was and again he was surprised by how well she fit against his entire body as he wrapped his loving arms around her lithe form. She buried her face into the hollow of his throat, her warm breath dancing across his skin like sunlight as he breathed in her vanilla essence. She had the ability to sooth away very one of his fears and he took solace in the fact she was safe here in his arms. The raw energy of his biotics began to dwindle as he exerted his control once more, reigning it back into the confines of his body.

Kaidan cradled Shepard even closer as that familiar connection flared up between the two of them, reigniting their desire for intimacy. She was Sara all over again and she was his. Her nimble fingertips were graceful against his skin as they followed the chain of his dogtags until they disappeared under the hem of his shirt.

"Sara." he murmured, his lips brushing tenderly against her hairline. "I know what your thinking and I'm not going to leave you."

"Your not even mine." she told him, her palm coming to rest on the place where his heart beat resided in his chest.

"You know that's not true." Kaidan said quietly, his own hot fingertips tipping her chin up so that she could meet his affectionate gaze. "I was yours from the moment we met and that's not going to change any time soon."

It was true, Sara could see the honesty in those stunning, chocolate brown eyes as she held his stare. Kaidan was the only one who could sooth away the darkness that threatened to claim her at every turn. He generated a comfort and stability that had been missing since her parents had been killed back on Mindoir. This more than just a flirtation, there was passion and desire but more importantly this man cared about her. It went far beyond the physical chemistry that they generated and deeper than anything Sara had experienced before.

His lips lingered just out of reach, barely millimetres away. She could feel that familiar magic working it's way through her system, the way it did whenever she looked into Kaidan's eyes. His breathing heightened as she pressed her mouth to his. It was chaste and tender, imploring for him to show her that she wasn't alone in this. Kaidan responded with a ferocity that drowned out any doubts that Sara may have held. His mouth crashed against hers, desperate and all consuming.. His tongue delved into the recesses of her blazing hot mouth as his fingers tangled in her hair drawing her even further against the planes of his chest.

That raw, dynamic heat was back, demanding and in force. It tingled through Sara's flesh as she moved until she was straddling Kaidan, her knees hugging his hips. Kaidan growled his approval as she bit his lower lip playfully, her delicate hands bypassing his shirt to stroke that firm skin underneath. Her touch was sensual in a way he thought should have been illegal. Her nails raked lightly along the line if his ribs as she explored his chest like he was a treasure map. Her fingertips followed the patterns of his scars, tracing along the lines before moving onto the next. He rose his arms as she gripped the hem of his shirt and yanked it up. It hit the floor in record time before Sara paused taking in the exquisite sight in front of her. Kaidan was sensational, his shoulders were broad and powerful suiting his muscular frame. His arms were strong and well defined as were the contours of his chest. His tanned skin was patterned with long white scars that stretched across his decadent flesh. She wondered what had happened but she couldn't find the right words to interrupt this moment. She allowed her fingertips to reach out once more and follow the line that had been lashed down the centre of his rib cage.

Kaidan watched her reaction reproachfully, his own hands coming to settle on her waist whilst she pursued that line all way down to his belly button. He felt the need to explain, most of his previous lovers had ignored the raised flesh. They had never asked and he had never told. It would have meant explaining about his biotics and he had never been able to do that. Sara was different, the way she looked at him made him feel revered.

"In BAat I wasn't great with barriers." he said softly, inhaling deeply in anticipation as her blazing fingertips skated around his belly button and explored even lower.

His dark head tipped back, a ragged groan emitting from low in his throat as her palm caressed along his impressive length through the material of his trousers. His grip on her waist tightened just a little, betraying how tantalizing that sensation really was.

"You like that." she whispered against his jaw, her lips fastening on that deviant little spot that drove him absolutely crazy.

He arched up between her legs, grinding their hips together and causing a delicious friction in both of their sexes. Sara's breath hitched at the excitement coursing through her as Kaidan's large warm hands began to peel the T-shirt from her own needy form. Clad in that simple black bra, her pale skin looked glorious. She didn't hide her scars nor did she try and explain them. By now he knew how she'd gotten ragged bullet wound, the one that disappeared under the waistband of her fatigues. She was far from flawless, the same way that he was but for him she was perfect.

His lips captured hers, his tongue teasing along the outline of her mouth until she yielded to him completely. He gathered her up in his arms before raising to his feet and taking those last few steps towards the bed. He laid Sara down gently until she was sprawled there in front of him like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. He crawled up along her body until they were face to face. The skin on skin contact was euphoric, her fingertips dug into his back as he peppered her throat with hot open mouthed kisses.

"Off." he murmured against that soft skin, his finger index finger teasing along the cup of her bra.

Sara obeyed him immediately, his hungry dark eyes fastened on hers as she propped herself up and removed the offending item of clothing. She had no idea how Kaidan did it but being with him like this made her feel confident and sexy. There was no shame when they looked at each other, there was only that raw, demanding hunger. His large hands ghosted over her modest breasts, his thumbs teasing over those erect nubs electing a wanton moan from Sara's pert pink lips. His mouth enclosed on the the right, sucking her nipple into his mouth so he could lavish it with his skilled tongue. Sara arced into him, the desire flashing through everyone of her synapses as Kaidan turned his attention to her other breast. He watched her pale skin begin to flush pink under the power of his ministrations before his fingers dipped between them unbuckling the catch of her trousers. He stripped them from her exuberant body along with her underwear, boots and socks, taking in the full extent of her nude form as she awaited him.

His cock was already rock heard and leaking, he literally ached for the woman in front of him and now he was about to make her his own. That deep primal side of him was baying it's approval, he had wanted this since the moment they had met and now his dreams were coming true in ways he had never fully grasped.

"Your over dressed." Sara remarked, that wicked little smile crossing over those pretty features as she gestured to his fatigues.

God, that grin lit up his world like nothing else and it didn't take more than a few moments for him to remove his own clothes. It had been a long time since Sara had seen anybody naked but Kaidan had been sculptured by the gods. His physique was magnificent, his entire muscular structure finely chiselled into shape. His scars were etched deep into the recesses of his flesh and he wore them like a badge of honour for her eyes only.

Kaidan used his athletic form to blanket Sara's slender body. The pressure of his skin against hers made her feel elated as she arched into his languid touch. He bowed his head so that he could stare into those arresting pools of blue as his fingers laced with hers binding the two of them together. His mouth covered hers once more, his tongue plundering the fiery confines as Sara reached between them with her free hand to guide his throbbing cock to her molten hot core. She was so god damn wet for him, he didn't think he could be so turned on until this very moment. Kaidan moaned as the head grazed her slick folds, sending Sara into a heated frenzy as he exerted just the slightest bit of pressure. She nipped his lower lip in response to his actions, he could sense her desperations as her thighs hugged his hips even harder.

Kaidan penetrated her with an agonisingly slowness, drawing out the ecstasy as Sara yielded to him completely. Her hips bucked into his thrust, drawing him even deeper into her inviting, supple body. They melded together in unison until Kaidan was buried inside his lover all the way to the hilt. The sensation of being inside Sara was incredible, she breathed his name against the corner of his mouth as he repeated the motion. Connecting had never been such a sweet experience before and the pleasure was racing through his veins like the most potent of narcotics. They merged together, their heightened breathes echoing through the air as they maintained that slow, erotic pace. Sara's whimpers were getting louder as Kaidan tilted his hips just slightly, hitting that sweet spot inside his lover. She was close, he could tell by the way she cried out as he picked up the pace, driving her to the finish line. His balls were tightening and there was that familiar low tingling spreading through his lower back as he thrust into Sara once more.

Her orgasm was all consuming, he felt the climax vibrating through her very core causing every single one of his nerves to set ablaze. Her fingertips dug into knuckles, her inner walls clenching around his cock like a velvet fist. The way her face contorted in rapture was the sexist damn thing that he had ever seen. Her name was on his lips as the fireworks exploded through his nervous system drowning out everything except for her.

The sheer force of their consummation erupted though them at the height of their coupling. Their souls blended together. The feeling was indescribable and everything that they had tried to deny over their time together rushed forward until they were forced to confront the startling truth.

This was love. Pure, blissful, unadulterated love.

* * *

_**Hey guys, I think I wanted to start by how completely unplanned this chapter was. I knew I wanted to connect Balak to Sara and the best way to do it was through Mindoir. They both surprised the hell out of me with what transpired between the both of them. I always thought that Sara would tell Kaidan what happened back home and apparently this was his response! Fingers crossed you guys all enjoyed this chapter!**_

_Gracie: I always love Joker because he makes me laugh, he just says the most random things and I'm a sucker for that type of guy! Back to Shenko! Thank you so much for your kind words, it is lovely to hear that someone enjoys the time that you take on a story! Seriously thanks for sticking with me!_


	8. Chapter 8: Upside Down

Chapter Eight

_Sometimes life can taste so sweet _

_When you slow it down  
You start to see the world a little differently  
When you turn it upside down _

_Paloma Faith – Upside Down_

Complete. That was the only word that Kaidan Alenko could use to describe how he was feeling right now. Everything outside of this bed was irrelevant. Sara's heart was beating against his own, her pretty face buried in the curve of his throat as the soles of her delicate feet rubbed tenderly over the curve of his muscular calf. Her arm was draped over his waist wrapping around torso and holding him as close as could be.

The fingertips of his left hand stroked blissfully down along the length of her spine and back up again as she dozed fitfully upon his chest. His lips brushed across her hairline lightly, causing her to mumble in her sleep before Kaidan sighed contently. This was the way it was meant to be between the two of them, simple, loving and blissful. His large palm splayed along the the bottom of her back, admiring the way the sheets barely covered her heart shaped ass. That was a sight he didn't think he could ever get bored of, it sent a thrill through him that he was the only one that got to see her beautiful naked body.

A glance at her digital clock revealed that he needed to get up before he was late for his shift. He was reluctant to leave the shelter of Sara's warmth. He had known for weeks that it had been a while since she had slept properly. Every day he had watched the dark circles under her eyes getting worse and worse. Saren was a heavy burden for anyone to carry but she wore it well. In front of the crew she put on a brave, impassive face and even he himself at times had believed her to be infallible. It wasn't until moments like this that he remembered how vulnerable she was. Under that gleaming N7 armour she was still human like the rest of them.

Kaidan placed a butterfly kiss upon Sara's forehead before he slipped out from underneath her sleeping form as carefully as he could, so not to wake her. Sara responded by pressing her face even deeper into his pillow before she tucked her right arm underneath it. Kaidan smiled briefly to himself before grasping the fresh white sheets and pulling them up until they reached her shoulder blades. He cast one last look at her slumbering form before gathering up his clothes and retreating to the shower.

Sara's scent still clung to his skin like the sweetest of fragrances and it caused him to stiffen as his mind played over their passionate night the two of them had spent together. Jesus, he remembered that deviant little noise she made as he hit that pleasurable spot deep inside her, the way her bright blue eyes shone with adoration as he stared through them and into the depths of her soul. It had never been like that for him, Kaidan had never made love before Sara. Everything else before her had simply been a build up to this very moment.

The heat from the shower felt so good on his bare skin. He hadn't realized the toll that the latest mission had taken on his weary body until he felt all of his muscles begin to unwind. He hadn't realized the tension that he had been carrying in his shoulders until this very moment. Sara's story had unnerved him in ways that were savage and primal. Knowing what his lover had survived had only made him respect her ferocity even more. From the very beginning there had been a will power in Shepard that resounded through every fibre of her being, it was that drive that encouraged people to follow in her footsteps. Kaidan could see where it came from, her lease of life was a gift that the people in her settlement had not afforded. She was a sole survivor and she had already made their memory so very proud.

Kaidan reached out for the cream coloured bar of soap that was placed high on the ledge that ran along the interior wall of the shower. He sniffed it tentatively before applying it to his skin to make sure that he wasn't applying anything feminine that the other members of the crew would pick up. He was aware now more than ever of the very fine line that Sara and himself were treading. Neither had of them had entered her quarters with the intention of making love but it had happened and Kaidan wouldn't change that. He knew that their personal relationship had changed and they were over stepping the boundaries of their regulations but he thought that they could both respond professionally in terms of their jobs. Besides he thought the rules may have changed a little considering that Sara was now a Spectre. There was a whole different set of rules that Kaidan wasn't sure of and he wondered if truthfully it was the fact that Sara was so accustomed to the Alliance rules and regulations that was currently holding them back.

Behind him the door to the bathroom opened and Kaidan turned around to find himself facing Commander Sara Shepard as she stood naked before him. Jesus, she was beautiful. There was no bashfulness on either of their parts as they drunk in each other's nudity. Already this was normal for them and that was something Kaidan found he treasured. With other women it had never been like that, after sex he usually found himself pulling on his t-shirt and boxers to hide the rivets of white scarring that marred his chest. With Sara he wore his scars like a badge of honour because he knew that was the way she saw them and it gave him a confidence that he hadn't felt before.

"Hi." he found himself murmuring, his chocolate brown eyes locked firmly on her as she strode to him so that their nude forms were barely inches apart.

His cock was already hardening, seeing her naked had started the ball rolling but having her in his vicinity was enough to make him ramrod straight. There was a power in her that was like no other, the desire he felt for her was passionate and consuming, whipping itself up inside of him like a frenzy. His skin was already prickling with anticipation as those pretty blue eyes of hers darkened in response to his arousal.

"Here." she said, removing the soap from his open palm before lathering it between her own hands and placing it back on the shower shelf. "Let me."

Kaidan exhaled deeply as Sara's deviant, soapy hands caressed the contours of his chest. Her fingertips danced along the trails of white left by his scars as her pretty blue eyes fixated upon them. To her the damaged tissue was a curiosity, she traced their patterns slowly causing Kaidan to close his eyes as he revelled in the sensation.

"No one's ever touched my scars before." he revealed, his voice rough with want as she allowed her fingers to follow the lines of his hips.

"They never really understood how amazing you are." Sara said quietly as she tilted her head to peer up into his gorgeous brown eyes.

The two of them were generating a lot of firsts. The night before had awakened something inside Sara that she had never known existed. Making love had always been something she read about in books, it had never been real until she met Kaidan. The way he made her felt was indescribable, the things this man did to her went far beyond the barriers of normal comprehension. He was an angel in her eyes, one that had lived and fought just so he could save her from the crippling darkness that was beginning to bear down on her shoulders.

Kaidan's fingers wound through the chain of Sara's silver dog tags, tugging her gently until both of them were pressed against each other, huddled underneath the gloriously warm water. His mouth covered Sara's as his fingers raked through her damp red hair drawing her even closer to his sexy naked form. There wasn't a chance in hell that Sara could ever deny him as his tongue traced along the seam of her lips, seeking access. She kissed him with a ferocity that vibrated trough her lithe body like a firework exploding.

Their moment was interrupted by the sudden, loud beeping that appeared to be coming from the direction of the bedroom. Kaidan pulled away slightly slightly, his eyes ablaze and his breath ragged as his dark eyebrows furrowed into a frown as he struggled to place the noise.

"Oh Hell." Sara cursed, diving out of the water and snatching up a plush white towel on the way out of the shower.

Kaidan found his lips twitching at the scene before he turned the shower off and grasped his own towel from the tidy stack. He could hear Sara's sweet voice talking in that calm, professional tone that he associated with Commander Shepard as he dried himself off in the bathroom. He realized that the interruption must have been the chiming of her personal terminal and he struggled to push away the thoughts of what they would have gotten up to if it hadn't interrupted them. It didn't take Kaidan long to pull on his uniform before he fastened his watch to his wrist, catching a glance at the time. It was probably for the best that the two of them had had to separate otherwise he definitely would have been late for his shift.

He stepped out of the bathroom to the sound of a male voice echoing throughout Sara's small cabin from the console she was seated at. The laptop was turned towards her so he couldn't see the face of the man talking to her but he knew from the voice that it Anderson. He was probably asking for an update after their detour to Terra Nova. At some point during her own disappearance from the bathroom, Sara had thrown on her own Alliance uniform. Her short red hair was already drying at the ends and she raised her vibrant blue eyes to Kaidan acknowledging his presence with little more than a look.

There was no time for a proper goodbye, not unless they wanted Anderson to find out about their budding relationship. So Kaidan rose his hand silently to wave goodbye before he let himself out.

* * *

_**Hey guys, I know I said this story was completed but these two will not leave me alone! I hope you enjoy the way their relationship is developing.**_

_Anon: I am so glad you loved the smut. I was trying to hold off so badly but the two of them had had enough of waiting around. Thanks for the review!_

_Gracie: Thank you very much for your kind words. I would have liked to see what happened in the hours in between missions, I think the two of them would have had a lot of talking to do. I think she would lean on him just a little in the situation she is in. Thank you so much for the review!_


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